More to it than just a "good time"
I have been giving this a great deal of thought recently.
I
think that perhaps there needs to be some understanding as
to why someone is "married and looking", it is not that all
of us male or female in that position are just looking for
one nighters and sex only ( well at least in some
case).
I feel that in this type of relationship it is
definitly important for the people looking to become
involved to get to kno something about each other first, and
then proceed.
That was the ground work is laid, and the
boundries explored and understood, and then they can move
forward from there with the knowledge of each other's want,
needs, expectations etc...so that both parties have the type
of relatiosnhip they seek.
This type of relationship has
so many built in pitfalls and problems that it is, in my
opinion, imperative that there is some discussion.
Now if
it is to be "no strings" then the discussion may be on
limits and boundries,times, etc.
However I also feel that
the reason people are looking outside thier marriage is not
so much because the sex is bad ( which it might be) but
perhaps more so because there is lack of communication, lack
of feeling like you are appreciated, needed, wanted....and
more. I do feel that, at least in my case, I want to have
some connection with the person that I may be having a
realtinship with,some emotion towards each other. With out
that...you run the risk of just sex beoming stale and old
and then moving on...if there is some sort of emotional and
mental attachment, more than sex,the needs that are needing
to fulfilled stand a better chance of accomplishing that,
and thus bot parties happier both when together and
apart.
Now can that emotional and mental attachement cause
the relationship to blossom into more and present problems
with the primary reltionship....sure...and that is an
issue...but then again if there is communication, emotion,
and attachment in more than strictly sex..that potential
problem can be discussed and dealt with by the people
involved. Could it be that the relationship
ends...sure,....could it be that it blossoms into something
that both want and need, and that it causes the end to the
old relationship....sure....but the point is that no matter
which way it may go...it is more apt to end or continue
well,,,because of that emtional, mental attachment.
I may
be way off base here, or unclear, but I do feel that for an
extramarital relationship to be what both need and want it
has to be more than sex.
